We Can Find God
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29
I’ve been following God for as long as I can remember. I have always truly loved God and tried my best to do all the right things. Of course, never perfectly but I did try. Much of that time, I thought that I understood this concept in those verses I placed above… that when we search for God with all of our heart, we will find him. Then a few years ago, life got really difficult. A dark night of the soul type of time and I found myself more isolated and confused than ever in my life. Life just wasn’t going well even if I was trying my best to follow God.
This was a defining time because I had a choice, and my life would likely be completely different if I had chosen a different path. I could get even more lost by hiding and wallowing in confusion. I could plow through in my own strength and hope for the best. I could try to run from reality in a myriad of ways available these days. I could turn my love and attention towards another person or things. I don’t think I was aware or thinking about all the choices at the time, but there are so many paths to go down, right?! I'm extra thankful for the Holy Spirit's guiding help in this time.
My faith in and love for God got really real during this dark time. Instead of trying to lean more on my incredible husband, amazing family, friends, work, substances, social media or even just more of doing the right thing… my desires became stripped of anything but God. Partly by circumstance but it was a proactive choice that had to be made. I could somehow see that the other things (even wonderful people and good things) were not going to be as good as God. And I began to lay before him, completely surrendering myself to him. And I got to the point where my attention was all on him, my desire and goal in life was to get to know him better and just to be with him. Because of the darkness in my life and seeing that the other things were limited in their ability to fulfill me, I became addicted to God himself. Not even in living for him but in God himself.
So, I started try to regularly submit my heart to him. My entire heart. Not holding parts back. I started seeking HIM… to know him, what he liked, what was he thinking. (Which I thought I knew him, and I did at least enough to choose to trust him.) It was hard sometimes, choosing to surrender the things I could see that could temporarily fill me and leaning into him who I couldn’t see and at times could not hear or feel. The more of the other things and people I released, the more I turned my attention and gaze toward him, the more I could see that He was the only one I’ve ever wanted. He’s the only thing really satisfying (and I have been loved well in my life.) Even in that dark time, I found that I could be filled with life and joy and a perspective that brings hope. You see, other people and things can satisfy but it just doesn’t last. I found that all of my circumstances don’t have to be okay for me to have peace because he can be that.
If you are wondering where God is, he is not far! He’s not way up in the sky lightyears away. He is so, so close and he will always desire you more than you do him. He wants to be with you…yes you. He wants to give you himself and walk with you in all of the times. That is what He desires most. You are His desire and all he is saying is… ‘If you want me, I am here. I am waiting for you. If you want me more than anything. If you search for me over all those other people and things trying to get your attention. If you desire me with ALL of your heart… YOU WILL FIND ME.’
You know, I always knew God was good, but I wish I had started to free myself from all the other desires in my heart earlier. I wish I hadn’t waited until things were stripped away and I was at a crossroads. I wish I had known that even my desire to follow his way and wanting him for what he can give me was keeping me from wanting Him with all my heart. He is the treasure. God himself is the fullness of what we are looking for.
Here's some practical things to do if you are ready to jump all in.
Ask God to search your heart and cleanse you of any desire but him.
Notice what you give your time and attention to. Who or what are you thinking about?
Confess and surrender your desire for anything else besides wanting God himself. Empty your heart and mind before him.
Keep asking for the Holy Spirit’s help.
Spend as much time as possible talking to God. Ask him questions. Get to know him. Not just asking for help or coming with a list. More like as if you were sitting with a friend trying to get to know them. No question is too silly or off limits!
Practice listening and hearing his voice.
Keep immersing in scriptures as you talk with God and get to know him.
Take time to just be with Him. No agenda besides just being together.
I could go on but I encourage you to try some of these to get going. Nobody’s path is exactly the same. And the cool thing I’ve discovered… There is no end to the good in God and in being in relationship with him. There is no end to the wonderful mystery and beauty of who He is. There is no end to his love and faithfulness and words of life over you. He has bigger and better plans for your future than you could even come up with. Life is increasingly abundant in him and he wants to walk together with us through every piece of it. He is not looking for us to do things perfectly and it doesn't matter to him as much as we think if we are "successful." He wants more than anything to be with us. In a mutually loving and giving relationship.
Notice I didn’t say everything in your life with go perfectly great if you seek him with your whole heart. I am saying that walking through life, no matter the circumstance, will be the fullest it can possibly be when your heart is completely His. When what you want is Him.